#73: Spring, Substack, and Sertraline

three of my favorite things

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Spring is in the air

While I recently learned that March broke records for the hottest March in decades (which I felt, in Texas’s 80 degree weather), April has brought more temperate weather and true spring vibes. Flowers are blooming, rain is falling, the weather is absolutely perfect here in Dallas (something you won’t feel again until November), and I’ve slowly started to work on starting my own garden. Pinch me! My mom and dad are huge gardeners, always having the most beautiful, lush, happy yard I’ve ever seen. So, when my mom visited the other week, I had her teach me a few beginner steps to starting a garden.

I learned:

1. The difference between annuals and perennials, which I already knew, but she kind of taught me how many of each to get, where they can grow best (border flowers, filler flowers, front yard vs backyard, etc)

2. If you are making potted plants, you need to have a Thriller, Filler, and Spiller flower. LOL. These 3 different kinds of plants in a big pot will make it gorgeous.

3. When picking flower colors, you want them to go together- duh! You need to look to ones right next to the other on a color wheel, or opposite (I.e. purple and yellow, etc). Silver flowers look beautiful with pinks and purples, and you want an even mix of types of flowers, colors, heights, and variety.

4. There is a difference in blooming- some flowers bloom once then die and are done, others bloom and bloom and bloom- meaning you will have color/flowers/prettiness for a long time! Some are spring blooming vs summer blooming- having a mixture of both means you will have blooming colorful flowers all year round.

5. You need to water flowers more than you think you do.

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Substack is the place to be

The last few weeks have been a blur on Substack for me. I find the app to be a little clunky and not very user friendly, so I’ve had a hard time over the past year finding newsletters and writers to follow that I genuinely connect with. However, I finally just wrote a note (similar to a “tweet”) that said “Im looking for 30-something’s figuring out this transitional decade” and whatdayaknow, but almost 2000 people liked it, 400 people commented, and I gained almost 200 new subscribers to this newsletter! For Substack stats, that is like going viral on Instagram or TikTok with millions of views and thousands of new followers. The best part about this? I finally found my people! 400+ writers and readers who are in a similar season of life and are curious about asking questions and engaging with their identity and this transitional time in a meaningful and fulfilling way. I’m thrilled to virtually meet the new writers and readers on here, and truly hope to connect over the coming months! For new readers, hello, I’m so glad you are here.

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Sertraline has been in my bloodstream for a year!

You heard that right, it’s been a little over a year since I started my beloved SSRI, Zoloft for anxiety. Not to be dramatic, but starting Zoloft was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. In fact, when me and my friends were on vacation together, we asked each other if there is anything we truly regret in life; I’ve asked this question a lot, to myself and to friends, always curious with the answer- it’s a fun little party question. Up until now, I would say, thankfully, there is actually nothing I regret in life- I’m happy with every decision I’ve made, really. However, this time it was different. I quickly said with assurance, “I regret not starting Zoloft sooner.” I meant it with my full chest. I can’t believe I went year after year for so long feeling like my head couldn’t stop thinking of something. I was high functioning, so the perseveratory thoughts didn’t get in the way of my life, but boy did they get in the way of me feeling calm and happy!

I was sick of it, so I finally went to my doctor and was like, “Listen, I’ve tried it all- I am sleeping 8 hours a day, eating healthy, exercising and moving my body, I talk to friends on the phone, make plans to look forward to, feel pretty, I have a dog that makes me smile, I pray to a God that loves me, I have a fulfilling job, joyful relationships, good connections with my parents, and I’ve gone to therapy for over a year…. and I still feel an overwhelming sense of discomfort and stress. I can’t relax. My brain won’t shut off. It’s not bad thoughts or sad thoughts or even worrisome thoughts, it’s just SO MANY THOUGHTS THAT DON’T STOP.”

And she was like, “Sounds like you are ready for some medicine.”

I highly recommend trying a lot of the above techniques first, to see if movement and sleep and friendship and therapy can shake you out of your depression or anxiety. However, if it doesn’t, medicine can be the most incredible tool in your tool belt. It has been for me, and I’m so grateful I was finally ready to start.

So, cheers to another year of sertraline! May it forever flow through my blood.

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Any plans for Spring?

Are you finally hoping to write more like you wanted?

Might you go ask your doctor for a happy little blue pill to calm your brain?

I hope this Spring feels like a blooming time. I hope you see beautiful flowers with your eyes and smell the sweet grass after a rain shower and hear cute little birds chirping in the morning and kiss someone who thinks you are the best thing in the world. But, most importantly, I hope you stop for a dang moment and smell the roses- a goal I chant to myself every morning.

April, be good to us.

We deserve it.

As always, I’m rooting for you.

Until next time,

xoxo

Marisa

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1. March Madness gave a performance that was stunning- both men’s and women’s. Ah, the games were so good I can hardly stand it. Per usual, I’m depressed it’s over.

2. I’m watching Age of Attraction on Netflix. It’s weeeeiiirdddd. But, I’m hooked. Ok but a 33 year age gap!? Not ok…

3. I started my garden! Zinnias will be my flower of choice- hopefully I have a picture to update ya’ll with in a few weeks.

4. I bought the DFYNE brand that I was talking about a few weeks ago- ok the sets are CUTE, but size up at least one if not two sizes please! For the love of god, I don’t know who is supposed to fit into a small.

5. I get to go see my nieces in one week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While I hope my FaceTimes become their own personal Ms. Rachel TV show, to see them in person will surely be 1 million times better.

6. In need of book recs! I want to start a big fantasy series, but can’t get into it yet. So in the meantime, I need some fun romcom stuff. I went to the Houston Rodeo the other week, so maybe something that involves a cowboy;)

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Piper Pupdate

I want to eat her for breakfast, lunch, and dinner<3

Thank you for being here. Your readership, encouragement, and curiosity mean more than you know.

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