#63: Another 2025 Post
on recapping 2024, envisioning 2025, and feeling better
I can’t believe it is already 2025.
I don’t know about you, but 2024 came and went in the blink of an eye.
My husband and I were talking about that the other day- where time slows down if you are super busy or new experiences are taking place around you, and seems to speed up when you are going through the mundanity of life without much newness.
Which feels so accurate. 2024 was a pretty mundane year for us, and I can acutely remember this time last year and the exact resolutions I made towards the end of 2023 into 2024. How is it already 12 months later?
And yet, over the past 4 months as we’ve had this new puppy, the months have equally felt like an eternity! Thinking back to the first few weeks we had her- gosh, that feels like forever ago.
Or maybe I’m getting older. Maybe the years just start blending together.
Or maybe it’s the lack of seasons in Texas. The year feels like one long summer, punctuated by a few “chilly” days. Every day and night often feels the same here.
Anyways, enough about me. How are you feeling? Did 2024 fly by? Can you hardly remember last January because it feels like forever ago?
I mentioned this last year, but New Years is my second favorite holiday. I just love it. I love beginnings and ends, I love reflection, the buzz of newness in the air. Despite resolutions almost never “getting accomplished”, I love feeling like they will. I love shiny outfits and champagne. I love hope. Hope for better days, for slower mornings, for stronger connections. I love the anticipation of a new year: “What will it bring?”
Last year, my New Years Newsletter touched on several things I wanted to do in 2024- it described big concepts, small concepts, and feelings I hoped to emulate. So let’s see how we did!
The Big Ideas
Research at work: I did this! I wanted to diversify my work experience and start something new, rather than just seeing patients 40 hours a week and I’m proud to say this very much came true and is full swing. I love it. I adore it. It makes me feel like myself. It fulfills deep curiosities and intellectual interests of mine. I couldn’t be happier, or prouder, that this came to fruition.
Play piano: I did not do this! I did not remotely do this. I saw that it cost $50 per 30 minute piano lesson and was like “yikes”. I still would love to get a small keyboard and mess around a little bit this year. Piano makes me unbelievably happy and calm. And those are two feelings I would like to feel more of (don’t we all). So again, it’s on my list for 2025.
Grow this newsletter: I kind of did this! I think I gained about 33% of new subscribers which feels so wonderful. I don’t feel called to have a “big platform” but honestly? I love writing. And I have something to say. And of course, I want people to read it! So I hope this newsletter remains fun, sustainable, encouraging, and helpful.
Create a third space: I did not do this! I so desperately want to pursue finding a third space this year. I desperately need another space in my community that feels fulfilling, important, communal, and like it matters to me. I’ve always had 3-4 Very Important aspects, hobbies, and communities in my life growing up (sports, clubs, academics, etc) and I find that spreading myself amongst several things is so comforting. So I not only want to find an important community in Dallas, but I want it to make Dallas feel more like home. I’ve just been floating here, for 4 years, and I want to feel grounded.
Gain clarity: I kind of did this! Not entirely, but I certainly have made steps towards clarity in my wants, needs, and general life. Of course, this is such an ongoing thing. But I’m glad this year brought more clarity instead of more chaos.
The Small Ideas
Have more margin in my life: I did not do this. I am still chronically 10 minutes late and find the daily disruptions of life to be more annoying than beautiful. Dang! There’s always this year.
Stretch more: I did not do this. But, I will say that my current workout schedule has really ramped up, and with that has come a lot more stretching. So I think I will be doing this a lot more out of necessity.
Keep a bullet journal: I did this! I wrote an entire post about the outcomes. It was one of my favorite parts of 2024. God fear a woman with data.
Trust my gut: I did this! I think for a few years, I questioned my gut- the one thing that I’ve never questioned. I felt anxiety, overthinking, and perfectionism really skewed my thoughts. “Can I even trust this thing anymore? My gut instinct just feels like anxiety” I would say, during the middle of the night when my mind was racing. I’m happy to say that while not perfect, we have made drastic strides in trusting my gut again and feeling sureness about myself and this crazy life. I have therapy to thank for that.
Less alcohol: read said post about my bullet journal.
The Feelings
Better: I wanted to feel better in 2024. HAHAH I still laugh at this because it was so brutally honest and I thankfully can say that I certainly feel better right now than I did a year ago. Friends, family, therapy, long walks, getting a puppy, finding more meaning in life, gaining more clarity, naturally growing up, getting another year older, and good old Zoloft are who I have to thank for this one. 2023 was a year that opened up a lot of questions that left me feeling conflicted, confused, and stressed. 2024 was a year of slowly working through those questions. I suspect 2025 will be more of that, coupled with a few really meaningful steps forward with momentum, sureness, and a renewed happiness.
Content: eh, not sure I feel this as much as I would like to. I have a hard time feeling content. It’s probably one of my greatest challenges about growing up. I often ask myself, “So what's next??” when I would like to just be where my two feet are more!
Clarity: this was redundant. We’ve already gone over this:)
Play: I wanted to naturally gravitate more towards levity and play in my day to day life. “Play” was actually my “word” for 2024. Unfortunately, I did not pursue this concept as much as I wish I did. But, it’s a wonderful thought. Good try Marisa! While I don’t feel pulled to have play be “my word” for this year (which does it matter? clearly I don’t do anything about having a “word” anyways), I always love the idea of infusing a bit more silliness into life. I will always be working hard at this.
Grit: I wanted to continue to prove to myself that I can dig deep and have resilience. I can proudly say, this year continued to bring that out in me. This year made me feel strong. Physically, mentally, professionally, in personal relationships, just all around. I feel like I’m entering 2025 in a sturdier place than I have in the past 4 years.
So what are the vibes in 2025?
For me, I want to gain momentum. I want to continue to do the work uncovering needs, wants, desires, pain points, etc… but I’m also feeling a pull to get in my body more. To start moving. Literally, figuratively, emotionally, etc. I want to put a little more work into moving forward and a little less work into thinking about how, when, and where to take that first step. I think it’s time to just start going. Somewhere. Anywhere. It just needs to start.
I don’t want to gain more information before I make a decision. I don’t want to overthink taking a perfect step, and in doing so, end up not taking one. I don’t want to keep talking about something. I actually want to start doing it. What a novel concept! Anyone else in this phase of life? I hope I’m not the only one.
In a similar vein, I also want to dive deeper into 1-2 things. For example, 2024 was the year that I brainstormed and decided that research was important to me. This year, I want to go deeper with that and really lean in. Again, less thinking and more doing.
Finally, I want to have goals and achieve them. I know people tell you to not make resolutions (because we never achieve them), and usually I’m in that boat. Resolutions or goals feel pressured and stressful in a way. But this year I actually feel extremely pulled to have a structured goal again. For as long as I can remember, I felt my worth was in achievements. Even while I knew that my worth shouldn’t be in achievements… mine still very much was. I couldn’t help it. I kept achieving something significant, in a consistent way, year after year (which is how our life is kind of set up from age 5-23). We all kind were constantly achieving, right? Graduations, internships, jobs, travel, relationships, moves; our life is filled with so much in our teens and twenties. So many milestones are hit. But then it kind of stops and life becomes a bit mundane. There isn’t as much of a common “track” to take in life. People are veering off, and I think I had a very hard time knowing how to make my life feel worthy at a normal job in a normal city with a normal life. So, for the past 4 years, I’ve intentionally worked on separating my worth from achievements, and shift my mindset towards seeing life as worthy because it just is. You exist and you are breathing and that alone, every day, makes life beautiful and worth it. I know that is what the last four years were meant to give me. Before, accomplishments and meaning were so intricately linked, and over the past several years I’ve separated them out to realize how meaningful life is without accomplishments. With that being said, I’m now, truly, craving an accomplishment again. I want a win. I want a goal. I want to achieve something. Thankfully, it is no longer motivated by needing to “feel important” or “be the best” rather, it is just because I actually want to- to feel happy, to feel strong, to feel excited, to feel like myself. I want to have a goal and achieve it, not to feel worthy in life, but to celebrate that I already feel worthy for this life.
This, my friends, has been my most cherished shift that growing up and slowing down, has given me.
With that being said, I’m ready to get my nose to the grindstone again and put in a little work (cue sports Marisa coming out).
Goals for 2025:
I want to get really good at indoor cycling. I am hoping to hit 100 rides at my home cycling studio.
I want to do a sprint triathlon. This would first require me to learn how to swim. But once I do it’s done for you bitches.
I want to publish a research article and/or speak at a research conference. Big goals people!! I’m shaking just saying that. But damn that would be cool.
I want to publish 4 newsletters a month. I averaged 3 per month last year and I would like to up the ante.
I want to hand write birthday cards to all of my close friends, family, and friend’s kids.
I want to learn more about obesity medicine and start thinking about how to incorporate that in a legitimate way into my personal practice and clinic practice at large, with a specific emphasis on obesity medicine for underserved communities (a quiet if not muted conversation). Practically, this will look like dipping my toes into shadowing the specialty, and working towards completing my certification of obesity medicine through CME.
I want to go all in on my Narrative Medicine certificate program. I can’t believe that starts in just 3 short weeks. I have probably never been more excited (or felt more like “these are my people”) than I do with this program. Maybe this will be my third space!
I want to start thinking about how to optimize my internal and external life (physically, mentally, and emotionally) as I begin to think about my fertility in a more serious way. This will look like getting stronger, more flexible, improving my range of motion, ensuring I’m getting proper micro/macronutrients, drinking less alcohol, and lowering stress. This is of course a lot LOL, but I slowly want to start thinking about my health as it relates to fertility. I have never thought of it in that context before, but I think it will be a helpful tool. For that reason, I don’t think I want to prioritize sprinting a marathon or getting jacked or running a million miles, rather I want to ensure my actions align with whatever I need to improve my chances of having a healthy and safe pregnancy/child. Gosh, I’m an adult!! Crazy.
I want to train my puppy to be a bit more cooperative. I also want to successfully go on a vacation and leave her in a nice doggy daycare place that she loves and I don’t feel sad about! A very practical goal.
Finally, I want to learn how to curl my hair. I say it every year. But this year I’m serious. Oh, and start being more consistent with heat protectant spray.
Feelings:
I want to feel like a badass! How jolting- a year ago the number one feeling that came to mind when writing my New Year’s essay was that I wanted to feel “better”. How different “badass” is. That’s on growth and improvement! I want to feel like a badass. I want to surprise myself, I want to push myself, I want to do more and act more and have the strength and fortitude to create forward momentum. I just feel ready for that. I know it is so ambiguous and not really attached to anything, but that’s what a feeling is people! I just want this year to be a year of movement.
I want to feel strong. Physically, emotionally, mentally, basically in every way. I know life has its natural ebbs and flows, but again, I want to dig deep a little and find that grit again. I am already finding it, lately, and it feels wonderful.
I want to stay curious. I think I’m naturally a very curious person, but I want to continue this. I really don’t want to feel numb to this world, I want to always be meeting new people, having new experiences, and stretching myself. It is so easy to get comfortable (and therefore not want to experience anything new- people, places, or feelings) and that is probably my biggest fear in life: inertia. So I want to continue to flex my curiosity muscle and stay open to newness. Whatever that means.
I want to feel seen. I want to continue to lean into the people that bring me home to myself, most of which are friends and family that are not in my immediate city or area. I would love to have that feeling- of being deeply known, loved, and seen- to be present in the people I acutely surround myself with. This takes a lot of work and a little luck. It’s hard to find “your people”. But, I hope to continue to work towards that. My husband and I both equally have this as a goal, so I am hoping with double the fortitude, we might achieve this in some small, beautiful, God-like way.
Ok! I am done with this obscenely self indulgent and narcissistic post about myself!
It is my newsletter after all, though. I can write whatever the heck I want to!
No, but seriously, if you’ve made it this far, you’re an MVP.
Do you have any goals for the new year? Do you feel pulled to be more gentle with yourself, opting for less resolutions? Are you, like me, surprisingly very interested in specific achievements? Did you also want to feel “better” in 2024 and did you achieve it? Is “better” actually on this year’s list? If so, I am rooting for you.
I’m always rooting for you. Truly.
This life, this world, gosh it’s so fun and so crazy and beautiful and terrible all at the same time.
One thing is for sure. Life will continue to throw us curveballs, and our days will constantly and forever be filled with good, bad, and mundane. That will never stop. It’s the only thing I’m sure of, actually.
Another new year.
I pray it gives you what you need. I pray that if it needs to be a thinking year you slow down, and if you are done with thinking you speed up as needed. I pray you continue to come home to yourself. I pray you let people help you do that.
I pray we stay close to people.
I pray we stay close to questions.
I pray we stay close to discomfort.
I pray we stay close to the edges of society and the margins of this life.
I pray we stay close to the moments that feel like magic.
I pray we stay close to the moments that knock us down.
I pray we stay close to each other.
I pray we always stay close to each other.
Cheers to 2025. May it slow down, speed up, and be what we need it to be, even if it surprises us.
As always, I’m rooting for you.
Until next time,
xoxo
Marisa
1. I’m almost done with Fourth Wing. It has reminded me that I’m an incredibly slow reader, but it is so good. I love this book. I look forward to reading it every day. More books that make us feel like that in 2025!
2. We saw Wicked! And then we watched the Defying Gravity scene every day, several times a day, after that.
3. My mom made these cookies that are oatmeal and peanut butter and M&Ms and chocolate and heaven on earth. I should have a link or something, shouldn’t I. I can’t just leave you hanging! I’ll get back to you on that.
4. Our puppy loved the snow! And she got 2 sweaters to stay warm. I will try to post a picture next week. She is the cutest!
5. Speaking of Piper, she gets spayed tomorrow. Mama took 2 days of PTO just to snuggle her afterward. Prayers for a safe and speedy surgery/recovery! (also, I am convinced I have the most PTO in all the land, ya’ll, we get like 30 days. It’s craziness. My plug for making sure you find a good employer!)
6. I started the latest season of Selling Sunset (I know, I’m late to the game) and it is rotting each and every one of my brain cells.
Thank you for being here. Your readership, encouragement, and curiosity mean more than you know.