I bought a journal at Target, so I can once again fill it up a quarter of the way.
“This one will be different. I need this. I’ll do it every day, I promise,” I say to myself, as I figure out which color I want to purchase.
It’s a Five Minute Journal- in it you are supposed to write 3 things you are grateful for, 3 things that would make today great, and 1 daily affirmation. In the evening you are supposed to reflect on your 3 favorite parts of the day, and 1 thing you learned for the day.
It truly takes me 5 minutes, has been something I haven’t missed for 2 weeks, and maybe after several months it will rewire my circuits and make life shine brighter. Who knows.
Anywho, I’ve been actually enjoying it.
However, the daily affirmation really stumps me. What the hell is a daily affirmation? Gosh, I feel like it’s a cliche I’ve heard before but I truly did not know what it actually meant (and still don’t) until I checked out this journal.
Per this journal:
A daily affirmation is a statement of what you want in your life. The Daily Affirmation is a simple statement that defines you as you want to be. Every time you write the daily affirmation, you prime your brain to start building this belief in your mind. With consistency, you will begin to create that change from within.
Per Google:
A daily affirmation is a short, positive statement or phrase that you repeat to yourself to help you feel better about yourself and create a more positive mindset. Affirmations can help you boost your self-esteem, feel more confident, and shift your perspective towards optimism.
Per WebMD:
Positive affirmations are made up of phrases that you can say aloud to yourself or in your head. You can also write them down and make sure they’re always visible. Positive affirmations are meant to help build you up and improve your confidence, even when things are difficult.
Practicing positive affirmations doesn’t have to mean repeating one phrase repeatedly every single day. It’s about affirming yourself and replacing negative thoughts with positive self talk.
Positive affirmations are made up of phrases that you can say aloud to yourself or in your head.
Per Calm.com:
Positive affirmations are uplifting statements or phrases you repeat to yourself to help combat negative or self-sabotaging thoughts. These affirmations act as gentle reminders to reinforce a positive self image and an optimistic outlook toward life. They can remind you of your strength, capability, and worth. The effectiveness of affirmations comes from their repetition. By frequently affirming positive statements, you can create a pattern of optimistic thoughts.
I can’t for the life of me, come up with a daily affirmation. And I most certainly can’t repeat the prior days' strange, rushed, cliche positive words again and again and again.
And like most things in my life, I overanalyze the crap out of it.
“So, I’m supposed to come up with one sentence that entirely represents who I want to be in this world? How I want to walk through this world? How?”
I simply don't know what to write. And I most certainly can’t think of one or two things to write that I then have to repeat over and over and over again.
Which I think is part me just overthinking this small task, but also a wildly accurate representation of the stark reality I’m facing: I don’t know what I want or need right now.
I don’t know who I want to be. I want to live 10 different lives in 10 different cities. I could imagine having an entirely different career, different life, different partner, different talents, different friends, different style, different lots of stuff! I don’t know if I want to be more patient and kind or more loud and direct. I don’t know if I want to dive into religion and be closer to God, or try to better understand and empathize with agnosticism or even atheism. I don’t know if I want more friends or less friends. I don’t know if I want to busy my schedule or lighten the load. I don’t know if I want to workout more or less, eat healthier or less healthy, sleep more or less. I don’t know if I want to put more effort into my looks or give up makeup completely. I don’t know if I want to be more content or chase after a new goal. I don’t know if I want to live here or there, do this or that, pursue that hobby or this hobby, I just don’t know.
I don’t know if I need more confidence, more happiness, more wealth flowing to me (lol). Do I want more patience, more self assurance, more relaxation? Do I need to remind myself that “I cannot control my external environment” or “I welcome good things into my life” or “I’m exactly where I am supposed to be” or any other of the hundreds of affirmations you can find online?
I actually really like who I am, and really like my life. I love my career, my friends, and my view of the world. I love that I’m self aware enough to know I need a therapist and self sustaining enough to know I can be my own worst enemy and loving enough to see the incredible growth I’ve made in my twenties when it comes to becoming my own best friend.
Sure, I would love to be more patient, kind, and understanding. I know I need to work on cynicism dressed in “realist” clothes. I know I could tone back the sarcasm and infuse more gratitude into my days. I know I need to stop rushing through life. I can’t keep living in the future. I also know I need help with anxious thoughts and overthinking and pretending like all of that is just perfectionism or bumper lanes or plan B’s and C’s if all else fails. I know I need to stop people pleasing, and caring so much about what people think. I know I need to commit better, and decide quicker, and be more sure of this big giant life.
So maybe my affirmation should be that. Maybe it should be:
“I am sure of what I already know about this life- that it is good, just as it is. And it will always be good even when it seems hard.”
Or maybe it could be:
“I am content with what life throws at me, and have the tools I need to get through anything.”
Or maybe it could be:
“I’m not perfect, and will never be perfect. And I firmly believe that is a gift.”
And finally:
“I already have what I need to be happy, if only I remember.”
I love the idea of creating habits of positive, affirming, kind phrases to say to yourself. I’m all about this idea of a daily affirmation.
But I think the kindest thing I could say to myself right now is, “Life is not perfect, you are not perfect, there will be good and bad days, all of this is normal and actually quite literally the point of it all. Don’t get bogged down by needing something to be different. You don’t always need to be chasing after a change. Just keep going, I think you are doing it right.”
So I ask you, what is something you need to tell yourself? No, not a positive affirmation, per-se, but what do you truly need to hear? I think you probably already know what you need to be reminded of. It doesn't have to be positive. It doesn't have to have a pretty bow wrapped around it. It doesn't have to be perfect. What do you need to hear?
Like me, I wonder if it is more of a daily grace, rather than an affirmation.
Grace upon grace upon grace. A whisper that says, “I think you are doing it right. I think you are going to be OK. I think this world is filled with good. I'm almost sure of it."As always, I'm rooting for you.
Until next time,
xoxo
Marisa
1. I started Golden Bachelorette and it's cutie!
2. Season 47 of Survivor has started and I'm INTO IT.
3. My parents visited the other weekend and brought us to Costco for a run since we don't have a membership, and let me tell ya, the only way you have to sell a Costco membership is to have parents bring their adult children there and foot the bill. You'll have me for life. Signing up as we speak.
4. Our puppy is still sick. Idk what the hell is going on. Prayers would be appreciated<3
5. Ran 3 times in the past 2 weeks and I could cry of happiness. Hoping comeback season stays.
6. I watched Uglies on Netflix- did anyone read those books? I remember them being amazing. Movie was….. not.
Thank you for being here. Your readership, encouragement, and curiosity mean more than you know.